


You give me a reason, something to believe in

by Toomanyfandoms99



Series: (No Longer A) Secret Marriage [23]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Mythology - Freeform, Secret Marriage, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 21:09:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15276237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toomanyfandoms99/pseuds/Toomanyfandoms99
Summary: Sam took in the image of Gabriel.  He was in Sam’s hoodie, swaddled in blankets on the couch.  He was watching an action movie in a zombified state.Depressive episodes.  Thought spirals.  Right.





	You give me a reason, something to believe in

**Author's Note:**

> The title was taken from the song “Homesick” by Dua Lipa, also indicated with ellipsis. This one is Sabriel-centric. Enjoy!

Castiel didn’t know that he was about to land in a lake.

That’s what he gets for entrusting Balthazar with creating the portal.

Cas and Balthazar fell into the water, barely having time to comprehend it before they were submerged in the lake. 

Cas was glad he wore black clothes today.

Cas quickly gained his bearings, swimming upwards until he could breathe again. He spat out some water, running a hand over his now-messy hair to get some strands out of his face. He took a few breaths, registering Balthazar emerge a few seconds later. His gaze was playful, causing Cas to snort.

When they both looked up, they realized that Gabriel was standing.

Above the water.

Castiel narrowed his eyes. Gabriel had the reflexes to create an invisible square in the three seconds he had between falling out of the portal and hitting the water.

What an assbutt.

Cas sent a mental message to Balthazar: “I’ll distract him.”

Cas sensed Balthazar’s smile as he sent: “I love when you get mischievous, little bro.”

Castiel didn’t send a response, leveling Gabriel’s smug grin with his best glare. “You must think you’re so clever, huh?”

“I don’t need Loki to be clever, brother dear,” Gabriel said.

Cas sensed Balthazar making his move, but kept his eyes on Gabriel. “The water temperature is nice. It’s a shame you don’t want to take a swim.”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

Balthazar appeared behind Gabriel. Cas smirked and asked, “are you sure about that?”

Gabriel didn’t have a chance to answer, because Balthazar had pushed the archangel into the lake. He barely had time to screech before he was submerged by the calm water, making a satisfying splash.

Castiel and Balthazar laughed, Cas joining his brother on the invisible square. He caught a motion behind them in his peripherals. He registered Dean, Sam, Charlie, Ellen, Jo, and Kevin having a picnic by the lake.

That would have to wait.

Gabriel emerged from the water, looking pissed as ever, his skin flushed and his hair plastered to his head.

Cas realized absentmindedly that Gabriel was wearing a white shirt.

Oops. He had no regrets.

He thinks he just did Sam a favor.

And the way Cas’s black shirt was clinging to his skin meant that he was doing Dean a favor as well.

“I hate both of you! What the fuck?!” Gabriel exclaimed.

Cas met Balthazar’s eyes, tilting his head a little to the side. Balthazar glanced behind him quickly, his grin there and gone like a camera flash.

Everyone must be watching them with interest.

“We did what any good brother would do,” Balthazar said.

“Good?!” Gabriel sighed, climbing onto the square with what little space was available. 

“Watch your tone. Sam’s here,” Balthazar said.

Gabriel’s eyes widened in alarm. “What?!”

The two seraphim laughed.

“They’re behind us,” Cas said. “Don’t look yet.”

Gabriel inhaled sharply.

“Make him wait for it, Gabe,” Balthazar suggested.

Cas raised an eyebrow at his brother. “You’re right. I do this all the time.”

“Gotta keep the marriage alive,” Balthazar said.

“Excuse me?” Cas mock gasped and informed him, “we’ve never had a problem with keeping the marriage alive.”

Balthazar snickered. “Damn. You still have sex on the regular?”

Gabriel cleared his throat pointedly. “We’re not doing that.”

Castiel winked in answer at Balthazar.

Balthazar sent: “Respect.”

“So,” Gabriel asked, “what have we learned today?”

“Not to let Balthazar make a portal ever again,” Cas offered.

“Hey!” Balthazar laughed good-naturedly. He asked suddenly, “how long are we going to make them stew? Dean and Sam look ready to swim over here.”

Cas grinned. “Good.”

“How do I look?” Gabriel asked.

Cas and Balthazar chose not to mention Gabriel’s see-through white shirt. Like liars, they said in unison, “fine.”

Gabriel took them on their word. “Let’s do the walk-on-water trick.”

Balthazar chuckled. “That’ll totally freak them out.” He smiled deviously. “Let’s do it!”

They all stood up on the invisible square, taking care not to look at their captive audience. They walked on water like it was no big deal, the thinnest possible layer of surface water skimming the bottoms of their boots.

“I forgot to ask,” Gabriel said, “how are the children, Bali?”

Cas smiled at the mention of Heaven’s angel children.

“They can all teleport safely now,” Balthazar informed them.

“That’s great news. We don’t need another teleporting Balthazar situation,” Cas mused.

“Teleporting Balthazar situation?” Gabriel prompted. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard this story.”

“As a child,” Balthazar summarized, “I teleported on top of a cliff the first time.”

Castiel laughed at the memory, Gabriel and Balthazar himself joining in. The bunker clan was within earshot now, the three angel brothers still keeping their cool.

“Now this whole portal thing is starting to make sense,” Gabriel quipped.

“Oh, hush,” Balthazar said. “I totally had that monster on the ropes while you two-”

“Stop it right there,” Gabriel cautioned. “Witty banter is the most important-”

“So you say,” Balthazar countered, “but I got results faster than you, alright?”

“If you mean getting tied up faster than us-”

“Cassie!” Balthazar gasped, feigning offense. “I thought we were on the same side!”

“We are. Stop your drama,” Cas said.

The brothers finally reached solid ground.

Dean and Sam’s gazes went, respectively, to Cas and Gabriel. Castiel’s eyes raked over his husband’s form quickly before turning his attention to Sam.

Sam was handing his jacket over to Gabriel, like a gentleman.

Gabriel blinked. “I’m wearing white, aren’t I?”

Sam nodded kindly, averting his eyes from Gabriel’s torso. Charlie and Jo stifled giggles.

Gabriel wrapped the jacket around himself and zipped it up quickly, his cheeks stained fire truck red. He clenched his jaw, staring at Castiel and Balthazar in barely restrained anger. “When you least expect it,” Gabriel pointed to his brothers, “I’m going to push both of you into a lake!”

Cas and Balthazar laughed.

Balthazar muttered, “bonus points for the white shirt and making him angry.”

“Definitely,” Cas agreed, fist bumping his brother.

Still fuming, Gabriel took a few quick breaths and calmed himself down. He played with Sam’s too-long jacket sleeves, the length covering his hands completely. “Thanks, Sam.”

“You’re welcome,” Sam replied.

Balthazar pulled out a phone from thin air, which was ringing loudly. He answered, “Jack.”

That got everyone curious.

Gabriel and Cas went to Balthazar’s side, listening in.

Once Balthazar hung up, Gabriel asked neutrally, “you’re training him?”

“Sort of. He likes to be helpful.”

“As long as he’s not in any-”

“I know, Gabe. That’s why I put him in the offices.”

Castiel heard a chuckle. He looked at his husband. “Yes?”

“Heaven has offices?” Dean inquired.

“Every place has offices.”

At that, Balthazar bid them adieu, leaving Castiel and Gabriel to enjoy the picnic.

Cas sent a mental message to Dean: “Am I still wet?”

Dean sent: “Very, very wet, darlin’.”

Cas stopped himself from rolling his eyes as everyone sat at the picnic table. He said his greetings, not ashamed in the slightest that his shirt still clung to him.

He had to distract his husband in some way, didn’t he?

————

“Why do you keep cutting your hair?” Charlie asked Gabriel.

Gabriel answered, “Sam has enough hair for the both of us.”

That got everyone to laugh, even Sam.

————

Dean liked being semi-retired.

With so many family members that were hunters, Dean found himself not going on as many hunts in the past few years. Whenever the Winchesters chose to, though, — Cas included — they would pick simpler hunts around Kansas.

They were successfully leaving one of these hunts when they ran into two old friends.

Jessy and Cesar looked exactly the same as they did years ago. Dean remembered when he and Sam met the married couple. He was on year two of his secret marriage to Cas, and seeing another male hunter couple really set his mind at ease. It also made him incredibly curious, which was why he spent so much time questioning them upon meeting them.

If Cas were still human, Dean liked to think they would be like Jessy and Cesar.

When he ran into them again, Cas was inside a convenience store buying snacks for Dean — a man always needed snacks — while he and Sam spotted them at the gas station.

The brothers struck up a conversation for a few minutes, Dean glancing every once in a while at his husband through the store window.

Cas looked far too good in a cheap suit than was necessary. Despite being in a relationship for almost a decade, it was amazing to Dean how he was still madly in love with his husband.

Sam finally mentioned Cas, and Dean blushed a little. He would have to explain himself, now.

Dean told Jessy and Cesar, “the reason I was so curious about you two was because,” a beat, “I’m married. To a man.”

The couple concealed their shock rather well.

“I wanted to know what it was like for you,” Dean said. “Hunting together.”

Just then, Dean heard the door to the convenience store open, his husband stepping outside. He instinctively turned towards the sound, Cas approaching with a bag, the sun hitting him in just the right way to make it seem like he had a halo.

Beautiful. Angelic. Perfect. That’s how Dean would describe Cas in this moment. And every other moment, if he was being honest.

Dean introduced Cas to Jessy and Cesar, the older hunter couple still concealing their shock rather well. 

Dean knew his husband was ethereal. The petty side of him hoped they were jealous.

They all ended up talking for a while longer before going their separate ways.

————

When Sam found an old hoodie in his closet, he asked Jack to take him to Gabriel.

He had never had the urge to do something like this before.

But Gabriel’s reaction was well worth it.

He took Sam’s hoodie like he had just won the lottery, his eyes shining and his smile bright enough to set Sam on fire. The real Gabriel was more beautiful than Sam originally planned.

Gabriel slipped the hoodie over his shirt, and fuck, Sam wanted him to wear his clothes everywhere. Gabriel looked perfect right now, grinning at Sam like he was the luckiest angel alive.

Gabriel walked closer to him suddenly, until he had to tilt his head upwards to meet Sam’s gaze. “Do I look good in your clothes, Sam?”

Sam swallowed, that motion alone giving Gabriel his answer.

Gabriel wound his arms around Sam’s neck, standing on his tiptoes and pressing a soft kiss to Sam’s lips. Sam wound his own arms around Gabriel’s waist, deepening the kiss for a moment.

Gabriel pulled away first, going back to his regular height, his eyes swirling between brown and gold. Gabriel looked up at Sam through his eyelashes, which tended to affect the hunter far more than it should. “Thanks for the hoodie. I’m glad you thought of me, baby.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Baby?”

“You liked when I called you honey, Adonis, Sigyn, and Hercules. I’m a pet names kind of guy.” Gabriel frowned. “If you don’t li-”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind it if we’re alone.”

Gabriel sighed in relief. “Thank goodness. I have no brain-to-mouth filter, sometimes, and I didn’t want to slip up when you didn’t like pet names because that would be embarrassing and I would try to hide from you for like a week after such a blunder and-”

Sam kissed Gabriel quiet. “You’re lucky I like it when you ramble.”

Gabriel chuckled, releasing Sam from his hold. Sam refused to loosen his grip just yet, making the archangel flustered. “Is there something else I can help you with?”

Sam admitted, “I don’t want to let go of you yet.”

This seemed to delight Gabriel. “We can watch a movie like a nice domestic couple, or sit and read in silence like a nice domestic couple, or cook like a nice domestic couple, or-”

“Make love like a nice domestic couple?”

Gabriel blinked at Sam’s bold suggestion, then stood on his tiptoes again. “Oh, honey,” Gabriel breathed, “I love the way your mind works.”

————

Dean was surprised this hasn’t happened sooner. But here he was, crouched while Cas blocked a barrage of bullets with his wings.

That’s right. Dean was being protected by his husband’s gorgeous raven wings, monsters being smited mercilessly as Cas’s eyes glowed. He let his vision be encompassed by feathers, trying to steady his breaths. 

After a moment, everything grew silent.

Dean looked up from his crouched position, Cas’s eyes back to an electric blue color. Cas met his gaze, Dean standing up, still letting his husband’s wings protect him. Dean wiped some blood from Cas’s face gently and sent a mental message: “My hero.”

Cas batted his eyelashes and chose not to respond. He retracted his wings after a lengthy hesitation, the warehouse looking like a tornado and a bomb went through it simultaneously.

Dean followed Cas’s new line of sight, his eyes widening. Gabriel’s bronze wings had protected Sam. Dean caught a glimpse of them before they retracted. He looked at his younger brother, and saw that Sam was just as flabbergasted as him.

Dean looked over at Jo and Claire next. Their gaping mouths indicated that they could see the wings too.

“Guys,” Claire said, “how are our eye sockets not burnt out?”

Gabriel and Cas shared a look that went from confused to shocked. They made their wings invisible again, folding them into whatever dimensional plane they stayed in when not needed.

“You saw that?” Gabriel asked incredulously.

“And we’re fine,” Jo confirmed, her eyes still wide.

The two angel brothers had a silent conversation for a moment. Dean figured they could speak through a mental link like he could with Cas, only they didn’t need a bond between souls to do it.

Gabriel addressed them first. “There must be an undetectable force field around this warehouse.”

“Aw,” Claire mock pouted, “I thought Jo and I were special.

Jo snickered.

————

Sam knew something was wrong when Gabriel didn’t pick him up for their usual weekly date.

Since Cas was preoccupied watching a movie with Charlie and Kevin, Sam had Jack take him to Gabriel’s cloud. Jack frowned at the sight before them, then disappeared.

Sam took in the image of Gabriel. He was in Sam’s hoodie, swaddled in blankets on the couch. He was watching an action movie in a zombified state.

Depressive episodes. Thought spirals. Right.

Sam sat next to him, Gabriel blinking at taking in his presence. “Oh. Sam. Hi.” It dawned on him, but his face and tone remained blank. “Oh. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

Gabriel blinked again, turning back to the movie. After a moment, Sam heard a voice in his head.

Gabriel’s voice.

It said: “I can’t feel much of anything right now. You can go, if you want.”

Sam clenched his jaw. He wished he could fix Gabriel’s self-destructive thought process. Not for the first time and certainly not for the last, Sam wanted to destroy everyone that put Gabriel down for no good reason. He also knew — from researching depressive episodes — that Gabriel shouldn’t be alone right now.

Sam said with conviction, “I’m staying with you until it’s over.” Gabriel looked back at him dazedly. “I don’t care if it takes days. I’m staying right here, and nothing you do can make me leave. And I’m not doing this out of obligation. I’m doing this because I need you as much as you need me. I want to convince you that you can fight this, and get better.”

“Better.” Gabriel’s voice was still emotionless. “You make me better.” He stated it like a fact, and despite the situation, Sam wanted to hold Gabriel in his arms and kiss him better.

But he kept his hands to himself. He would remain Gabriel’s rock, an unwavering presence. Instead, Sam posed a challenge. “You have three days to prove it to me.”

“Three days,” Gabriel repeated, as if comprehending the phrase and encoding it in his memory.

The room grew silent again, Sam and Gabriel turning back to the movie.

————

It was midnight before Gabriel got the strength to get off the couch.

He hadn’t moved in hours, but in his defense, he was comfortable there, and he was too weak to stand up until now.

Gabriel travelled with his cape of blankets to the floating bed, securing himself under the covers within thirty seconds of being upright. He sensed Sam lay next to him, remaining quiet but observant.

Gabriel didn’t know what to do when Sam looked at him like that, especially when he could barely feel anything at all.

All he knew was that Sam’s presence wasn’t going away anytime soon, and that he had better get used to it. If Gabriel had his emotions, he still wouldn’t know how to feel about that.

————

Sam and Gabriel laid in bed for most of the next day, the hunter only leaving the archangel’s side for food, bathroom breaks, and a shower.

And to answer a phone call from — presumably — Dean.

Gabriel shrunk in on himself as he overheard snippets of the conversation between the Winchester brothers. Sam was always so ready to defend him, to defend their relationship, that Gabriel’s emotions were a hurricane. He was unable to discern one single feeling, but they were there. Usually this didn’t happen until day two. It was only day one.

Sam’s challenge echoed in Gabriel’s mind. It seemed that his subconscious had soaked it up and taken it seriously.

————

Dean spent some time researching depressive episodes.

What Sam had told him on the phone had stuck in his head. He couldn’t believe Sam kept this from him. He was dating a depressed archangel, and no one would have known that if Dean hadn’t called.

Dean spoke with Cas, who told him the times he would find Gabriel watching movies motionless, unable to move an inch for hours.

Dean truly felt for Gabriel. He was stronger than he let on. He didn’t let his condition debilitate him. When an episode happened, he dealt with it and moved on.

Dean never understood why Sam loves Gabriel.

Until now.

————

“I love you.”

Gabriel froze.

“You don’t have to say it back. Just know that I love you. So much.”

Gabriel nodded, his sign of understanding. He hid under a mountain of covers and blankets, choosing to focus on the stars above him rather than Sam’s blinding gaze.

He couldn’t deal with that, yet.

————

The next day, the entire bunker somehow found out.

Dean felt guilty. He shouldn’t have mentioned it to Cas. They must have eavesdropped.

He spent the day doing damage control, making sure everyone stayed quiet about Gabriel’s depression.

That story wasn’t his to tell, anyway.

————

On the second day, Sam was shocked when Gabriel got out of bed.

And got himself a glass of water.

Sam observed from the bed, pride and love swelling his insides. When Gabriel took in his expression upon returning to the bed, Sam swore he saw a spark reach the archangel’s eyes.

————

After another few hours, Gabriel did something incredible.

He slipped out of his blanket cocoon again, smoothing out Sam’s — now Gabriel’s — hoodie, and walked with an air of confidence.

Sam sat up, enraptured by Gabriel’s every footfall. Gabriel stopped in the center of the cloud, snapping his fingers. The couch and television disappeared.

And were replaced with a piano.

Sam crawled to the edge of the mattress, perching there with interest. Gabriel sat on the piano bench, rolling up the hoodie’s too-long sleeves and combing his fingers through his bed head. He straightened his posture, cracking his knuckles and hovering his fingers over the keys.

After hesitating, he started playing the piano.

Beautifully.

His emotions were returning. Sam watched with bated breath.

That’s when Gabriel started to sing.

...Here, where the sky’s falling, I’m covered in blue. I’m running and I’m crawling, fighting for you. When the rain stops, then, darling, what will I do? And I know I go all in, but why do I?...

Sam realized that he wasn’t breathing. Inhale, exhale.

...You give me a reason, something to believe in. I know, I know, I know. You give me a meaning, something I can breathe in. I know, I know, I know. It’s a bittersweet feeling, longing, and I’m leaving. I go, I go, I go. But I wish I was there with you. Oh, I wish I was there with you...

These lyrics were far too much to unpack. Sam’s mind was reeling. Gabriel was expressing the first sign of emotion in two days, and Sam was still comprehending that.

...There’s a crack in my window, a bird in my room. Angels all over that watch over you. When I’m walking on water, all my dreams have come true. Still, nothing means nothing without you, you...

In Sam’s opinion, Gabriel had never looked more beautiful than he did right now. Playing the piano with a seasoned expertise, singing softly with his limited emotions on display, wearing Sam’s old hoodie like it was made for him, his hair an endearing bird’s nest, his skin taking on an ethereal quality. Gabriel’s beauty was understated, incredibly subtle, but it was impossible not to be blinded by it upon noticing it. And suddenly, Sam realized he wasn’t breathing again. Inhale, exhale.

...You give me a reason, something to believe in. I know, I know, I know. You give me a meaning, something I can breathe in. I know, I know, I know. It’s a bittersweet feeling, longing, and I’m leaving. I go, I go, I go. Tell my heart to lie, but I know deep inside it’s true. That I wish I was there with you, that I wish I was there with you. Oh, I wish I was there with you...

Sam found himself swaying a little to the melancholy melody, tunnel vision enveloping him. He didn’t even know Gabriel could play the piano, especially with such grace and poise. If Gabriel was on a stage, the audience would throw him roses and reward him with standing ovations. Sam couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to have this, have Gabriel open up to him. He was lucky to be the only audience member for Gabriel’s impromptu performance.

...You give me a reason, something to believe in. I know, I know, I know. You give me a meaning, something I can breathe in. I know, I know, I know. It’s a bittersweet feeling, longing, and I’m leaving. I go, I go, I go. Tell my heart to lie, but I know deep inside it’s true. That I wish I was there with you, that I wish I was there with you. Oh, I wish I was there with you...

Sam waited for the piano to stop playing — the final key ringing in the atmosphere — to grin like an idiot. Gabriel left the piano bench, catching Sam’s expression. He came back to bed, Sam lying back on the pillow. Gabriel fell into his arms wordlessly, — their first real contact since his depressive episode began — resting his cheek over Sam’s pounding heartbeat. Sam placed a kiss on the top of Gabriel’s head, his stubble brushing Gabriel’s messy hair. They stayed like that without speaking, Sam not pressing the archangel to do anything else. Singing was more progress than Sam expected for today.

Gabriel fell asleep on Sam’s chest moments later, the hunter sighing in contentment.

————

Dean knew he was bored when he ended up having a Marvel movie marathon with Cas, Charlie, and Kevin.

It had been a while since he observed the bunker’s nerd trio. And when Jack showed up halfway through “Thor,” the nephilim was taught about the intricacies of the Marvel cinematic universe.

Dean just listened and nodded along. As long as Cas was happy having a movie marathon with his friends, Dean was happy.

————

On the third day, Gabriel sensed his emotions coming back to the surface.

Sadness. Happiness. Anger. 

Love.

Gabriel tilted his head up, observing Sam sleeping soundly, and felt an injection of love plague his veins once more.

————

When Sam woke up, he was surprised to see Gabriel looking up at him with a ghost of a smile on his face.

Gabriel’s first smile in days, and he was looking at Sam like he was his salvation.

“I love you too,” Gabriel said. His first short sentence in days, and he was looking at Sam with an incredible softness. “From the other day,” Gabriel clarified. “When you said that you love me. I love you too.”

Sam’s breath hitched. “You’re better.”

“I’m getting there,” Gabriel corrected.

“I’m proud of you,” Sam said genuinely.

“I know.”

————

Gabriel was fighting.

Not physically, but mentally.

Sam could tell by the shift in Gabriel’s eyes that the movie they were watching was just background noise. Gabriel was fighting for his full spectrum of emotions.

Sam had the itch to draw.

He wanted to draw the image he was treated to yesterday of Gabriel playing the piano. He stealthily found a pad of paper and a pencil in one of Gabriel’s drawers. He flipped through the notepad, seeing Gabriel’s messy scrawls on different pages. He went to a blank page and sat next to Gabriel again, still keeping a respectable distance away. He brought the image to the forefront of his mind, slowly but surely beginning his drawing.

He hadn’t drawn in a long time. It was a secret talent that not even Dean knew about. And it’s not like he ever had the chance to show off his drawing skills with a hunter lifestyle.

Sam spent hours sketching the image in his mind, squeezing Gabriel’s hand whenever he reached out for comfort.

Finally, Sam was satisfied with his detailed drawing. Since he was better at objects, he got down all the important details on the piano, as well as Gabriel’s clothes. He did his best on Gabriel’s messy hair and side profile.

As he brushed off the completed drawing, he realized that the movie was almost over. Sam initialed the page, closed the notepad, and put it back where he found it, along with the pencil. He settled next to Gabriel as the credits rolled, waiting for a response.

A moment later, Gabriel looked at him.

His eyes were clear, coffee brown mixed with shafts of sunlight. His spark had returned. His genuine smile made an appearance.

“Gabe,” Sam breathed, awestruck at his other half’s recovery. “You’re back.”

Gabriel’s smile wavered for a split second. “I think so.” A beat. “Thank you.”

“It was all you, Gabe. I hardly did anything.”

Gabriel leaned closer to Sam, his smile growing wider. “You stayed with me. That means more to me than I can say.”

“Don’t say it then.”

Gabriel grinned broadly. “Oh, honey, you’re too much.” Gabriel cupped Sam’s cheeks and pulled him into a kiss. Sam hummed in the back of his throat. He pulled on Gabriel’s bottom lip with his teeth before withdrawing. Gabriel worried his bottom lip, his mouth quirking upwards, his eyelashes fanning his cheeks. He said breathily, “I missed that.”

Sam exhaled, his face flushed. “If you keep fighting, you’ll get this more often.”

“Is that a promise, sweetheart?”

“Of course.”

Gabriel perched on Sam’s lap, kissing him softly. He pulled away after a few beats and rested their foreheads together. “Do you know,” Gabriel whispered, “how I know that you love me?” He paused for effect. “You haven’t mentioned once that I smell.”

At the same time, they both started to laugh. Sam chuckled until he was breathless, watching Gabriel’s half-lidded eyes observe him like he was the most beautiful thing in the world. “You don’t smell that bad, actually.”

Gabriel laughed, pressing a kiss to Sam’s forehead and standing up. “You don’t have to lie, baby. I’d rather you not.” He smoothed out the hoodie Sam gave him. “I’m gonna take a shower. Be back soon.” As he was about to leave, he added, “no peeking.”

“I’m more of a gentleman than that.”

Gabriel smirked. “Yes you are, doll.” He spun on his feet and disappeared.

————

“He’s better?”

Sam smiled at Cas’s incredulous voice through the phone. “I’d say he’s at ninety-nine percent.”

“I almost don’t believe you. It’s only been three days.” A beat. “You help him more than you realize.”

“I realize it now.”

“I sense confidence in you, Sam Winchester.”

“One of us has to be the optimist.”

Sam could hear Cas’s smile. “I suppose so. I’ll tell Jack and Balthazar the good news.”

“Tell them to hold off another day,” Sam said. “I’m still concerned for him.”

“Aren’t we all?” Cas asked playfully. “I’ll tell them. And thank you for taking care of my brother.”

“Thank you for taking care of mine. You make him less annoying.”

“You make Gabe more tolerable too. Will you be back tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Probably in the afternoon. Does Dean miss me?”

“A smidge. He’s too proud to admit it, though.”

“Of course. Well, I’ll see you.”

“See you.”

Sam hung up the phone, realizing that Gabriel was hiding near the kitchen counter. He had changed into sweatpants and a black tee, blushing awkwardly at being caught eavesdropping. “Sorry. I, uh-”

“It’s fine. Why are you in the kitchen?”

Gabriel rocked on the balls of his feet. “I was thinking that,” his blush grew redder, “we could have that date now.”

Sam crossed the cloud in seconds, rounding the counter and pecking Gabriel’s lips. “You’re so romantic.”

Gabriel pushed a strand of Sam’s hair behind his ear. “Don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to maintain.”

“You got it.”

And so, the hunter and the archangel started to cook dinner.

Together.

————

Castiel was surprised to find Dean on the library couch, waiting for him.

Cas pocketed his phone. “That was Sam.”

“Oh?”

Cas plopped next to Dean. “Gabe’s doing better. Sam should be back tomorrow.”

“That’s good.”

Castiel pursed his lips, reading his husband’s mind. “This thing about Gabe is really bothering you, huh?”

“It’s just,” Dean sighed, “I really feel for him, that’s all.”

“Sam seems to have a handle on him. I’m rather impressed.”

Dean smiled proudly. “Sammy can handle anything.”

Cas squeezed Dean’s hand before releasing. He stood up and said, “I need to make a few calls.”

“Hurry back, darlin’.”

Cas smiled and left the library, getting his phone out again.

————

Sam was surprised at how easily he and Gabriel fell into their rhythm.

They ate and talked and laughed like Gabriel wasn’t in a depressed state earlier that day. Gabriel’s recovery was absolutely miraculous, in Sam’s opinion.

Gabriel took a drink of water and asked casually, “what were you talking to my brother about?”

“Don’t you have super hearing? You heard it.”

Gabriel glanced downwards bashfully. “I was trying to be polite.”

Sam cleared his throat. “Cas and I have an accord. Cas takes care of Dean, and I take care of you.”

Gabriel didn’t know how to reply.

Sam continued, “it occurred to us that, as older brothers, you and Dean have always had to watch out for us. No one watched over you.”

Gabriel managed, “you think that I deserve some TLC?”

“You deserve more than that. I can take care of you, Gabe. You don’t have to deal with everything on your own.”

Gabriel looked moved by a few simple words from Sam. The hunter could barely comprehend the power he had over one of the strongest beings on Earth. “Okay, Sam. You’ll be my first call.”

“Good.”

————

Balthazar and Jack were checking in with Mary when they got the call.

Due to Jack and Mary’s time in apocalypse world, they had formed a close friendship. Ever since Mary had returned to Heaven, the nephilim would visit her when he could. After the war, even Balthazar visited Mary. 

Balthazar put the phone on speaker. “Cassie, I’m with Jack and Mary. What’s up?”

There was static. “You three hang out?”

“Yes,” Jack answered.

“How are you, Mary?”

“I’m great, Cas.”

Castiel got back on track. “Okay, so Gabe is doing better. You can go by later tomorrow.”

“No way,” Balthazar said in disbelief. His reaction was silently shared by Jack and Mary — the latter learning about Gabriel’s depression due to Cas’s slip of the tongue during a recent conversation.

“Is three days a record?” Jack inquired.

“It just might be,” Balthazar replied. “Sam is a miracle worker.”

“Say it louder for Mary,” Cas said.

“I heard it,” Mary said proudly. “Sounds like my son, alright.”

“How are you making this call, by the way?” Balthazar asked.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” Castiel said mysteriously.

“Okay, mister magician,” Balthazar said, “I expect you to be there tomorrow.”

“Sure, acting captain.”

Mary and Jack laughed.

“I’m hanging up now,” Balthazar said.

“Bye now,” Cas said, hanging up first.

“He won,” Jack stated.

They all laughed again.

————

“Mary is doing good.”

Dean blinked. “Okay. How did you-”

“A magician never-”

“Got it. I just meant that this information was unprompted.” A realization dawned on Dean. “I sounded exactly like you for a second. Oh my God.”

Castiel stood by the library couch again. “Embrace it, husband.”

Dean took a quick glance around the library, making sure they were alone. Cas snapped his fingers, sitting on Dean’s lap. The second the doors closed, Cas’s lips were on his. When they parted, Dean said, “I think we’re becoming an old married couple.”

“This information was unprompted.”

Dean swatted his arm, Cas laughing into Dean’s shoulder. It eventually tapered off, Cas pressing a kiss to the hunter’s neck. 

Cas muttered, “we’ve always been an old married couple.”

Dean thought about it, running his hands up and down Cas’s sides. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am.”

Dean made a noise of protest.

“Oh, hush.”

Dean sighed contentedly, tracing shapes along the small of Cas’s back. “We’ve gotten so domestic. It almost feels like a dream.”

Cas gave his husband a searing kiss on the lips. “It’s not a dream.”

————

Sam woke up to Gabriel making breakfast.

The hunter was so shocked at the domesticity of such an action — while on a cloud, no less — that he stood there like a complete idiot for a moment.

Gabriel, like the sweetheart he was, averted his gaze and waited patiently for Sam to address him.

Sam went with, “good morning. Did you sleep okay?”

“Yes. You can say the thing you want to say, now.”

Oh, Gabriel had affected Sam more than the hunter had originally planned. Nevertheless, Sam said it. “We didn’t even have sex.”

Gabriel laughed in a melody so beautiful that Sam couldn’t comprehend it. “I’ve had more negative influence on you than I thought. And I know you like it when I cook, so I’m going to do more of it. Sound good?”

Sam went to the kitchen counter, kissing Gabriel’s cheek. “I’m not complaining. And I think I’ve had some positive influence on you too, so it balances things out.”

“I suppose it does.”

————

Sam told Gabriel everything that happened after he died by Lucifer’s hand.

It was the least Sam could do, after all. Gabriel had shared so much with him.

Gabriel listened intently, willingly bearing the weight of Sam’s years with him.

————

Jack appeared at Gabriel’s cloud before lunchtime.

“Hey, kiddo,” Gabriel greeted, leaving Sam’s side to hug the young nephilim.

“I’m glad to see you’re okay, Gabe.”

“So am I.” Gabriel let go of Jack. “What have you been up to?”

“I’ve been going back and forth. I need to lie down.” Gabriel materialized an armchair for Jack. The nephilim sat gratefully. “Hi Sam,” Jack greeted as Gabriel went to the kitchen.

“Hey Jack. We were about to make lunch, if you want something.”

“I’m fine, thanks. I just need to sit here and not move for a little while.”

Sam chuckled and went to join Gabriel in the kitchen. “Watch some TV, then.”

As if on cue, Gabriel made a hand motion so that his television played cartoons. Jack was immediately enraptured, the conversation ending.

Sam and Gabriel shared a fond look before getting to cooking.

————

“I just realized,” Sam whispered, “Jack has multiple parents.”

Gabriel said, “that means we’ve all done something right.”

Sam glanced over at Jack, still watching cartoons and smiled. “You’re right.”

————

An hour later, Gabriel zapped Sam to the entrance of the bunker.

Sam took in his surroundings. The tall trees calm in the breeze, the sky cloudy, the ground soft. One of the few times when Kansas looked beautiful.

Speaking of beauty.

“It’s a nice day,” Gabriel mused, eyeing the nature appreciatively before looking back at Sam. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

Sam smiled at the archangel across from him. “Alright.” He glanced at the door. “Time to face the music, I guess.”

“I can come in with you,” Gabriel offered.

Sam took a breath. “It’s fine. You shouldn’t leave Jack alone for too long, anyway.”

They stared at each other for a few beats, Gabriel having the guts to lean forward first. Sam moved closer, melting into the kiss that followed. Gabriel pulled away with a sigh, whispering, “you’re making it hard to let you go right now.”

“I’ll see you soon. Then, you can do whatever you want to me.”

Gabriel kissed him again and again, addicted to Sam’s lips. “You drive a hard bargain, honey. But I’ll wait.”

“Good.” One final kiss, then, “I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Sam went inside the bunker, giving one last glance at Gabriel, then smirking once he turned around.

————

“Look who it is!” Charlie yelled.

“The prodigal son returns,” Claire declared.

There was mock clapping as Sam — with a masterful poker face — descended the stairs into the war room.

Sam waited for the clapping to cease and said sarcastically, “thanks so much for the warm welcome. I’ll be here all week.”

“That joke was horrible,” Dean said.

“I blame my brother,” Cas said.

————

Gabriel was talking with Jack, Balthazar, and Castiel when he had to write something down. He took out his notepad and pencil — which was a tad dull — and flipped through the pages.

That’s when his heart stopped.

There was a drawing of him in his newly acquired hoodie playing the piano. Every pencil stroke was done with startling love and admiration.

For him.

Gabriel traced the initials “S.W.” on the bottom right corner of the page with his fingertip. How did Sam get this past him? It must have been during the movie yesterday.

He swallowed a lump in his throat, realizing that his audience was looking at him curiously. Gabriel quickly flipped the page and feigned normalcy.

————

“Have I told you today that I love you?”

Sam wasn’t expecting such a greeting upon answering Gabriel’s phone call that night.

“Because I really, really love you.”

Sam smiled. “What’s brought this on? Not that I’m-”

“I didn’t know you could draw, Sam.”

Sam swallowed. Gabriel had found his drawing at last. “Sort of.”

“Sort of?” Gabriel snorted. “Don’t sell yourself short. It’s,” a beat, “I love it. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“On another note,” Sam could hear Gabriel walking around, “does everyone know about my thought spirals?”

Sam immediately felt guilty. News travelled fast in his family. “I, um, I don’t know how-”

“It’s okay,” Gabriel said soothingly. “That’s not why...I just...I should have known this would happen.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, Sam. Don’t be sorry. I just...I don’t know. I’m surprised it stayed a secret this long,” Gabriel was pacing, Sam could tell, “but I also just,” he sighed, “I don’t know what I’m talking about, anymore. Just ignore that.”

Sam put it into words for him. “You don’t want anyone in my family to treat you differently?”

Gabriel’s silence was his answer.

“I think they’re sympathetic, but you don’t have to worry about that. Remember, that’s what I’m here for. I’ll take care of you.”

Gabriel sniffled. “This has become far too emotional of a conversation. Just, um, okay. I’m going to sleep with your drawing like it’s a teddy bear now.”

“Don’t crinkle the paper.”

“I’m kidding. Good night.”

“Good night, Gabe.”

**Author's Note:**

> The next work will be out within two weeks. I’ll be posting a Marvel fic next week, if anyone’s interested. Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
